Monday, January 19, 2004

Iowa Caucus Roundup

Yeah yeah, so Kerry got the surge he requested. But the way he requested it was so creepy:

"'Do you like the surge?' Kerry hollered at the Sanford Community Center. 'Are you ready to make more and more surge and a surprise on Monday?'"

The mostly-incontinent crowd obliged him immediately. As for the "surprise," don't even ask.

Gephardt's gone, as was expected if he didn't win or come close to it. Quote:

"'Life will go on because this campaign was never about me,' a somber Gephardt told supporters . . ."

Probably wouldn't have hurt to make the campaign about you, Dick. Perhaps Iowans wouldn't be saying things like this:

"'I thought he had died, so when he ran again I was surprised,' said Nancy Trotter, 53, a Des Moines attorney who was one of 20 likely caucus-goers gathered last week by pollster Frank Luntz to assess the race."

And she's an attorney!

Speaking of people long thought dead, Clark received the endorsement of George McGovern. This makes Clark a viable contender in the race for the most endorsements by has-been Democratic presidential nominees. Be sure to listen to McGovern closely, Wesley.

Edwards, who is my favorite nominee (after Kucinich of course), did well. Perhaps the endorsement by the Des Moines Register made the difference. We all saw how stunning and insightful the Register's crew was during those last two debates, so it's easy to see how informed readers like attorney Nancy Trotter, 53, were swayed.

I'm sure Dean now maintains that Iowa doesn't matter, and that he never said otherwise. If you're not a doctor, you wouldn't understand. Surprisingly, the Mosely Braun endorsement, his valiant defeat of Sharpton in the D.C. protest primary, and his wife's sudden interest in his campaign didn't make a lick of difference.

Who's left? Lieberman only captured Iowa's New Republic readers, but then again, he wasn't trying. Sadly, Kucinich was. Kind of. And Sharpton, clearly a front-runner coming off of his aforementioned second place finish in D.C., must be disappointed. Better blame it on Steven Pagones.

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