When I first arrived in D.C., I had no idea there was a passing lane on escalators. On the west coast, this kind of thing is unheard of. In Seattle and LA, escalators are a place to congregate, relax, and hang out until you reach the top. I couldn't understand why all these people cared so much. It's like that Jerry Seinfeld routine:
"I'm always in traffic with the lane expert. You know this type of person? Constantly reevaluating their lane choice. Never quite sure, 'Is this the best lane for me? For my life?' They're always a little bit ahead of you, 'Can I get in over there? Could I get in over here? Could I get in there?' 'Yeah, come on over here, pal. We're zoomin' over here. This is the secret lane, nobody knows about it.'"
That's how I felt about these D.C. people. It's as if getting to the top of the escalator 2 seconds faster is going to decide the election. I think some people even feel their arrival at the top isn't assured. "The odds aren't looking that good, Paul. Look at that fellow, he's passing us! This is it, isn't it? We'll never see Foggy Bottom again! Oh god, oh god! Hurry Paul! Leave the baby! JUST LEAVE IT!"
But then I eventually became one of them. By 9 months, I knew never go near the middle of the orange, blue, or red lines during the day. The tourist hoards take too long to get on the trains, never know that you have to keep your ticket to exit the station, and, yes, don't respect escalator protocol.
In fact, when I went back to D.C. last year during interview season, I found that I reverted back to my old habits. I even felt a little naked without a Washington Post in my hands (they are, or at least were, only 35 cents in some places - what a steal!). Just goes to show you that Potomac fever wears off, but never really goes away. That's little consolation for the abandoned babies, mind.
Monday, May 17, 2004
- ► 2005 (19)
- The George Bush narrative
- Help A Poor Guy Out
- For Anyone Heading to LA This Summer
- The Story of the Weeping Camel
- Washingtonienne/Wonkette Interview on Fox News
- Massively Multiplayer Online Gaming Market
- Boalt Is Better Than This
- Snoop Dogg is Getting a Divizzle
- Boalt's silly petition
- News Aggregators
- Google apology ad
- You Learn Something New Everyday
- SNL Season Review
- Fockering around
- An Age-Old Debate Settled
- Schwarzenegger's Saliva for Sale
- Justice Served on Streisand
- Mobile Law Office
- 7th Circuit Follies
- Procrastination Aid
- Little Miss Hooters Contest
- Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
- Supreme Court of Mexico Newspaper Ad
- Star Wars: Episode III Proposal
- Virtual Church
- "New York Minute" review
- A Dissenting Opinion . . . By Press Release
- The Sweetest Box Score in All of Sports
- Standing on the Left? You Must Be on Vacation
- God's Gift to Football - Mark Brunell?
- Bad News for John Kerry?
- John Cleese Interview
- Kucinich Update
- Henry Louis Gates, Jr.'s Dilemma: Diversity or Hon...
- Punitive Damages in the Extended Sphere
- Greece Struggles to Clear Hurdles in Sprint to Gam...
- Blog Meme
- Irony strikes again...
- Bork Bork Bork!
- The Incredibles
- A tad bitter?
- Misleading title
- Perfect price discrimination
- Legos Make Everything Better
- Scientology is a Cult
- Most Cited Legal Periodicals
- Slavery apology
- Crossing the Streams
- Michael Moore, Liar? Nah...
- They Come in All Shapes, Sizes, and Ages
- The Academy of Arts and Sciences' New Members
- Career Change
- Quote of the Day
- Wanda Baucus - Bitch, Bipolar, or Both?
- Cracker Barrel Agrees to Plan to Address Reports o...
- Ad Assails D.C. Cardinal for Stance on Communion
- The Art of the Pool Report
- Two delightful pieces
- Zagats and Naked Royalty
- Houston, We Have a Problem
- Spider-Man Web of Ads Unravels
- A Rent-Free Place, if You Can Find a Spot to Park
- Friends An Underachiever?
- Souterfest 2004
- Mind boggling
- Mariners Win in the Bottom of the 16th Inning
- Funny SNL Skit
- Credit where due
- The Numbers Game
- Peggy Noonan on Rasin in the Sun
- Book review #2
- Book review
- Sex In The Cities, by David Brooks
- European Enlargement
- The Circle of Garfield
- Psychologists in Need of Therapy
- Rep. McDermott Forgot 'Under God', Civil Rights Ac...
- In Re Scalia the Outspoken v. Scalia the Reserved ...
- Justice Souter Assaulted During Jog
- Trailer Watch
- Creationist Theme Parks
- ▼ May (86)