Monday, June 07, 2004

South Park on Protesters

[the U.S. Capitol. The Romanian father and two Romanian officials sit in Janet Reno's office]

Romanian Official: [no beard] Mrs. Janet Reno, you must understand, the father has right to his children.

Janet Reno: [flanked by two agents in riot gear] Yes, but the girls seem to wanna stay here. Why don't you all stay here in America, and this whole thing can go away.

Mr. Vladchick: Okay. [the official smacks him with the back of the hand] Heh!

Romanian Official: Our home is Romania. We love it there.

Mr. Vladchick: Ah, yes, uwuh we love it there.

Romanian Official: If daughters will not return on their own, you must force them to return.

Janet Reno: Gentlemen, this has to be handled very delicately. You don't understand Americans' power to protest.

Romanian Official: Protest?

Janet Reno: Look, people have it so good in America that they get bored very easily. And when people get bored they start protesting things.

. . .

[The Marsh house, day. The protesters leave one by one. The Marshes stand in the bombed-out ruins]

Sharon: Oh, Randy, it's gone! It's all gone!

Cartman: [arrives with Kyle] Dude, what the hell happened?

Stan: The government came and got the quintuplets. No more Cirque du Cheville for us.

Kyle: Damnit! How come every time we get a sweet idea, the government has to screw it up?!

Stan: Yeah! Well, not this time!

Cartman: Huh?

Stan: We've just gotta get that angry mob back on our side! [addresses the mob] Alright, everybody, listen up! Those bastards broke in here and took those poor quintuplets to the mayor's office downtown! But they haven't won yet! I say we all go over to the mayor's office, and demand to see the quintuplets right now!

Protester 1: Hmm.

Protester 2: Yeaahh.

Protester 3: I don't know. I usually like to stop protesting by 5:30.

Protester 4: Yeah, ah, do we get overtime for this?

Stan: Uh, sure, you can all get overtime.

Protester 5: Alright!

Protester 6: Yeah!

Protester 7: Down with Japan! [the mob moves away]

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